In addition to an individual therapy framework, my degree included courses in marriage and family therapy. My work with couples is informed by Gottman techniques, Imago therapy, emotionally focused therapy, and structural family therapy.

These words might feel even more abstract than the ones used to describe my individual approach. What they mean is that during session, we'll talk about the unsolvable problems that you and your partner have, practice listening to each other and reflect back what you are hearing. I'll help you describe your inner world and take ownership of how you are "co-creating" the dynamic that is causing strife. If you have children, we will talk about how your partnership impacts them and how to prioritize partnership over parenting (which is hard to do and can feel counterintuitive).

It also feels worth mentioning that you don't need to be in crisis to come to couples therapy. Maybe you need help fine-tuning your emotional communication or just want a few new skills. Maybe you are anticipating the addition of a child and want to make sure you are having good conversations. A partnership on the rocks is not the only type that can benefit from emotional work.

When working with couples, I like to have an individual session with each person to get to know them a little better one-on-one. The goal of this time is not for me to learn a bunch of secrets that you don't want me to tell your partner, but rather to have a clearer picture of your life story so I can know how to advocate and help you best during conjoint sessions.

I believe it is important to assess a couple's commitment to one another, which I ask about during our one-on-one session. Healing or creating change in a long-term partnership is incredibly difficult work. If you have one foot out the door, it's not going to go well. Assessing commitment sounds like "have you ever thought about a separation or divorce?" or "how committed are you to working on this problem with your partner?" The more honest you can be about the answers to these questions, the better I can help you.

If I find that you or your partner are very ambivalent about working on the relationship, in our next session we will have a conversation all together about whether therapy is the best fit for you or if having conversations about ending the relationship or shifting it in some way might be more helpful.

I don't mean to sound defeatist with these words. Rather, my intention is to honor your time, energy, and money and to facilitate an honest conversation. I believe that doing so is the kindest way to work with people.